Do I dare wish for grandchildren?

I have a legitimate question that begs for a reasonable, well thought out answer, rumination, explanation, or analysis……“Is it foolhardy to bring another child into this violent, unpredictable and foreboding world? Do I dare wish for grandchildren?”

Society has been mulling over this question for generations, yet these past few years have seemed especially challenging and precarious. Examples of today’s existential threats include: climate change, the ongoing pandemic, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, divisiveness within our country, overpopulation, economic inequality and work/life demands (burnout). These threats have frightening implications. Young couples are also wary of potential health or behavioral issues that might arise in their child which in turn may strain relationships and finances. The way I see it, deleterious consequences along with life long risks and hazards will not be going away any time soon. The future has always been uncertain, yet these dangers seem far more catastrophic and intractable.

So while I try to be a wise and helpful parent to my daughters, the decision to have children is theirs and theirs alone. Yet, how should I advise them when they ponder their future? They are in their mid 20’s and enjoy thinking about what life might be like for them.

Our recent discussions involved various life changes such as marriage, finances, careers, further schooling, boyfriends and so forth. Tough stuff. Perhaps I’m being too deliberate and inquisitive by dissecting and over- analyzing the whole question of whether or not they ought to have children. Sometimes life requires throwing heaps of caution to the wind. Nevertheless, I’ve never been thrilled with uncertainty and they don’t seem to be either.

So, the world keeps turning while in its capricious state, and determined couples continue to have children. What are their resources, plans for support, coping mechanisms, employer benefits, finances, work schedules and daycare schedules? There are so many daunting considerations.

I am no longer surprised to hear my middle aged friends tell me their own kids are opposed to expanding their household. Busy twenty and thirty somethings have a hard time imagining the idea of offspring for a number of ethical, physical, emotional, psychological and financial reasons. It makes sense to figure out the dynamics and temperament of personalities within a relationship also. Would they make good parents?

I am a product of the 1960’s and 70's. Throughout my childhood my three rambunctious siblings and I would pile into our parent’s station wagon to go on adventurous road trips across the country. Those were sloppy and accidental days where food was cheap while housing, utilities and expectations were low. Mothers stayed home and concentrated on penny pinching, cooking large spaghetti dinners, serving hot dishes and doling out hand me downs.

Currently, we are living through complicated times with no clear answers in sight. Our challenges, we’ve learned, are simply part of existing.

Still, the question bears repeating. Do I dare wish for grandchildren?